Posts (page 2)
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)
1. I prefer seafood over any other type of food ... well, that and Chipotle.
2. I've got the title of being one of the dumbest smart guys out there .. thanks Coach Row.
3. Whoever I end up marrying will be the luckiest woman in the world. This is the ring I'm planning to propose to you with babe .... click here.
4. Tien Len, or 13, a variation of poker .... ejaculates on Texas Hold 'em.
5. Recently, I've been telling people I just met that my name is Lucas C.
6. There are people that have me listed in their phones as Lucas Cunningham.
7. The only food I find disgusting is celery. I'll eat dog over celery, real talk.
8. If I had the chance to go to the University of Washington in Seattle, I'd pack my bags right now to move there.
9. The bumps on the roads that replace painted lanes make living in Seattle worth it.
10. I'd hate to call myself a shallow guy, but I'm a really shallow guy. Sorry chub-chub, that's something I'm working on.
11. Dawson's Creek producers and writers created one of the most classic dramas of all time.
12. For y'all that are planning to become a high school teacher, keep in mind that 15 will get you 20.
13. Who's ready to see an Obama Memorial beside the Lincoln Memorial, cause I'm not.
14. I think cooking crack is easier than cooking a turkey.
15. I always feel like a victim whenever I step into Ihop.
16. You can call me a junkie, cause McDonald's is that heroine.
17. You can ask anyone, I make the best cheese and hot dog sandwiches around. I'm a chef, I cook that crack.
18. As you could see, I'm a sucker for puns.
19. Chipotle over Qdoba, agreed ??
20. If you talk gay and act gay and you just claim you're "metro" at worst, my gay-dar says otherwise.
21. Taro boba is the best flavored boba ..
22. As a matter of fact, taro or ube ice cream is the best flavored ice cream.
23. Who loves munching on those shrimp flavored chips .... cause I do. This over lays any day.
24. We're looking for a third roommate for next year ... who wants to join us ?!
25. At the end of the day, the ugly or average looking, nice girl is probably "the one," not the pretty, gorgeous head turner. Sadly, I'm too ignorant and shallow to recognize that.
So as you know, I've been in Denver going to school and all that. For the past two weekends, I pretty much stayed in Denver. I haven't really done much either other than working, chilling in my dorm at night, and going to class and studying and hanging out on campus. It's about the third week into my Spring semester. This is the first time I've experienced taking a full load of classes, which is 18 credit hours. Last semester, as you know, I took a super light load, 13 credit hours.
These past two weeks, I've been stuck on campus, studying. I think I've also found the worst professor in this state as well. He's not bad in which he doesn't know what he's talking about, it's just that he expects way too much of us. He expects that we can understand everything the first time around. I can respect the guy in saying that he's a professor. Sure he's intelligent and all, but he seems like he doesn't care about his students. Oh well, I just have to make an extra push to pass that class with an A.
Anyways, from the themes of my blogs as of late, you could probably notice how much I talk about school now. So yahh, you could pretty much say that school is one of the most important things to me now. I want to succeed. I want to have some credential in some sort of way considering I'm not a stand out athlete. I'm not a stand out singer. I'm not a ladies man. I just want something in my life that stands out other than the fact that I drive Big Bertha and I can talk about computers and pirating for days.
Well, that's all I really have to talk about for now. All this studying's been making me brain dead this past month. Anyone who's reading this, I'm planning to head into the Springs for a weekend before spring break. Mark your calendars if you care about this event. I want a mini vacation cause it'll mark the end (or mostly the end) of my midterms I believe. Well, I don't know if they're my midterms, but all my first tests will be done by that time. The night of February 26 baby. Mark it! (=
No I'm not emo if that's what you're thinking. Technically, I'm not taking my "hard" classes yet in college. How come I'm all of a sudden, needing to always catch up and study now ?? I'm not struggling in my classes so far; but it's only the second week of classes. Because of that, a lot of my time, when last semester, I did a lot of hanging out, is now taken up in the lab studying and doing homework. I hate it, but I know I need to finish my education to better my chances in living a good life. If I'm struggling and always working on homework now, I can't even imagine how much worse it will be in next semester's classes. Sure I'm meeting new people and all that, but they're people in my classes and for now, I'm only talking to them in class. To add to my full load of classes, I'm also working part time as well. On the bright side, I finally fall asleep much easier now at night. But then again, I don't even have time to go to the gym anymore. My goodness, everyday feels like I'm going to class, then going to the lab to study, then going to the student lounge to hang out for about an hour ……….. But then I go to class again to end my day at school. From there I either go home or I go to work ….. What a life. College is great, yes, but sometimes it feels like college is only great depending on how hard or how many classes you're taking. Those damn people who party all the time in college are either taking only two classes, failing, and/or majoring in communications. Maybe that's what I need to do cause I'm not ready to be this busy and antisocial for the next three to four years ...
So the spring semester finally began after having about a month and a half off from school. I'm sitting here on my laptop in a car on my ride home from Aspen. Because of that, I'm finally getting the time to type out a fully thought out blog once again.
The semester started on a Tuesday instead of a Monday because it was President's Day. The weekend prior was hectic and busy. That Friday and Saturday I was still in Seattle. Sunday morning just made it super busy because of our seven hour flight home. I didn't know if my books were in and ready for me at my place so that had me a little restless adding upon the fact that I wasn't ready for the semester to start. The day before class began, me and the fam went through the process of packing and moving back into my dorm in Denver. Before making that last stop at my dorm, we went to Park Meadows Mall to shop around for a little. I also went to talk to the manager at the place I work at to tell them I'm finally off leave. After the mall, we went to the Asian Markets on Federal to shop for some food and to grub up on some Pho (pronounced "foe" under an American accent, or "Poe-Hoe" under a Filipino accent). Let me say this though, moving in sucks so much. Unpacking and getting things organized as I once was is so time consuming. But eventually, I got settled in and I was ready to check out my classes.
All my classes except for my math class and my CAD class had someone great to look at and even talk to, I love it. Finishing my first week of school, I can easily say that this semester is going to be my hardest so far. Not only am I taking harder classes compared to last semester, I'm also taking more classes overall; I'm taking in a full load compared to my measly thirteen credits. My CAD class is boring as can be, and Art seem to be a class I'm not going to enjoy too well either. Physics lecture too. The professor teaching the course is horrible. So far, I needed to read the book on my own and rely solely on that because of how bad the professor is teaching the course.
The weekend after, things didn't slow down just yet. Since Friday I no longer have any classes that day, I decided to go to Aspen with a small group of people to watch the Winter X-Games for the weekend. It's amazing how nice the 970 area is compared to Denver and Colorado Springs. The place is overall expensive as well despite how small the area is and how little the area is populated compared to other cities in Colorado like Denver or Colorado Springs. Watching the snowboarders and skiers do their work on the slopes, it's simply amazing what they're able to do. The experience of watching them just on ESPN doesn't even come close to the experience of watching them live. It makes me think about how difficult the those sports truly are.
Anyways, the semester's seeming to head the right direction. Everything is seeming to go right. Sure, I've had some major losses already in the new year, but all I can do for now is look forward; even though I'm having some trouble in doing so.
I haven't posted a blog in forever. That doesn't mean that I've given up with this blog. I've been actually writing up some stuff I wanted to post up here, such as the update on my trip from Seattle. I decided to just not post that one up since it's been a week since I was there. Sooo, in that case, the next blog that should be up should be coming up soon. More than likely, it'll be dealing with how the beginning of the semester went for me.
Just a warning, don't read this if you're not ready to read crap. This is what all this is, an essay on crap. Exit now if you're not ready to read this. Keep in mind that I'm not looking for any pity. If any of you can be willing to help me out, that would be great, but no pity please. Anyways ….
I'm finally realizing that the biggest and brightest star I've been trying to touch is impossible for me to reach. The moment I finally try and make one last push to reach that star, that dream is broken up by a rude awakening. It's like I've woken up from the dream I've been dreaming for the past many years. Sleepless nights are no longer because I had slept the whole day earlier or because I'm having so much fun, I can't fall asleep. My glass heart seems to have been dropped and shattered beyond the possibility of repair. I can't help but feel my stomach turn every time I would see that face now. My hopes were high considering my past knowledge, but as usual, I'm wrong. I shouldn't be surprised though. It's a constant trend that I should recognize by now. The constant trend of me usually being wrong is ultimately followed by another constant trend of my consistent dose of bad luck. Bad luck seems to always hit me where it hurts. This time, the bad luck I've come across all my life, has seemed to hit me the hardest emotionally; it seems to be hitting me harder than losing my bike, laptop, iPod, everything …. including my scholarship. But one thing I don't want is pity. I'd be willing to sacrifice anything to make this dream finally come true; but if it has to come down to pity, then I'll just pass that along because that will just make me feel worse. Also if there's a broken dream, there's no use to sacrifice anything considering that it'll be a waste of time.
I hate to say it, but I think that dreams are a waste of time. Up to now, including this one, all my dreams have either been broken, or have yet to come true. So leaving this blog, you can possibly take this advice when I say that don't bother dreaming; if you don't listen to me and dream anyways, please just don't keep your hopes up, because when you do and you're left disappointed, it's one of the worst feelings in the world. This feeling's worse than losing my wisdom teeth; it's worse than coming out of my eye surgeries; it's worse than my worst migraine; it's worse than getting kidney punched; it's worse than your worst stomach ache. Let's just say I can't possibly describe how bad the feeling is because it's that bad. This might be because I'm a sensitive person, I don't know. But I'm hoping that this won't affect me and bum me down when I head to Seattle next week. I also hope that this won't affect my school work this upcoming semester. Last semester, I didn't have to worry about drama out side of my own personal problems. This type of drama is different though. Honestly, it shouldn't be this serious to be writing a novel about; I'm just making it sound this bad by being my ol' dramatic self. The worst part all of this is that this is how my new year is beginning. So whenever I look back at 2009, I have to remember how yet another one of my dreams is broken. One thing I have to thank for is that it is a good thing that my dream wasn't broken while I'm in the middle of a school semester. So I'm guessing that's another bright side to look upon.
I'm hitting a huge step in my life. I'm less naïve about things now, so maybe that's a bright side of this; however, that's when I began learning about things I seriously wished I have never known about. I'm regretting the fact that I followed my heart instead of following my brain, so I guess I have to suck it up now and take the consequences because it's too late for me to take everything back. One thing I should have realized was that ignorance is bliss. If I was smart enough, I would have recognized that my best option would be to stay ignorant and naïve so my dreams wouldn't ever stop. I love how my dream was broken slowly and slowly by fluffing or candy coating the truth. I'd love to take the truth easily in a manly, masculine type of way, but obviously, that's not going to happen. Instead, I took in the realization quite harshly. I was planning to just push this broken dream to the back of my mind, but a friend told me that that's a bad idea. I honestly have no problem trying to hide my anger and frustration because I've done it many, many times before. So maybe by trying to resolve this ASAP, I can move on from this safely. I mean this is the first time I've experienced this type of broken dream, so this could be the reason why it's hitting me so hard.
Originally, this blog was supposed to be about my New Year's resolutions; however, this came up and I thought this would be better for me to vent out instead of writing a meaningless piece on promises that would eventually get broken anyways. This blog may seem selfish and weird because it may sound as if I'm looking for attention; however, you chose to read this blog, I won't take the blame for wasting your time. I'm sorry. But like I said, I don't want your pity. Unless you can fix this broken dream, don't try and talk to me about this unless you can help me out. I honestly doubt anyone can help me out. If you think you can and you do, you're simply amazing. It's pathetic though considering the amount I've gone through and how much of a pansy I'm sounding like right now. I'm not emo, even though I do sound a little emo right now. It's just that, as usual, I'm sounding overdramatic and all that; but, that's just the way I am. I'm sorry. Pity me, but don't pity me.
Originally created on Dec. 31, 2008. 12:43 P.M.
Usually people never take the time to stop and really look what's around them when they go to someplace new, unless they're sightseeing right ? I've seen it in TV shows and everything, where people just go outside in the cold night to take a walk cause they couldn't sleep or whatever. My purpose for that walk was to get a little bit sleepier because I couldn't get to sleep for the past hour or so and to cool down from the extremely warm and musty room I had to sleep in. Well, as I walked in circles listening to nothing but the water flow through the half frozen stream and the wind blow by my ear, it felt like time had stood still. Fifteen minutes felt like an hour; an hour felt like three hours. For the hour and a half or two hours I stayed outside in my shorts and jacket, pointless things and not so pointless things came across my mind. I noticed how the black sky isn't so black. I pointed out constellations such as Ursa Major (aka the Big Dipper) and Orion concluding that the opaque sky was surrounded with bright stars. I noticed how the majority of the cars where I was at, had license plates from other states, which wasn't too surprising because of where I was at. I saw plates from Missouri, Texas, Iowa, and of course, Colorado. Walking across the overpass, I stared at the water either for fifteen minutes or for an hour, I can't remember. The whole time I was outside, not a single car passed by and there seemed to be absolutely no sign of human life whatsoever. It felt like I was at a ghost town.
Anyways, onto my main point …. Well, as I stood outside for those couple of hours, I mentioned earlier that many pointless and not so pointless things came to my mind. I thought about how my winter break's going to end in less than two weeks. I thought about how the year is coming to end. I thought about all the things I did just this year. I also thought about all the heartbreaking things that happened to me: all the things I lost and almost lost within just a mere month, or when I found out that I was still losing my vision, slowly and unnoticeably. And then I thought about all the stupid decisions that could've prevent all these bad things to happen to me; how stupid decisions have probably left me not as happy as I could be now. Looking back at this year, I thought I took a huge step to being an adult did things like choosing to live on my own, choosing to take care of my own credit card bills, learning how to manage money on my own, you know, little things like that. Sure, I learned how to do those adult things, but when I thought about it, I haven't changed one bit. I'm still the same indecisive, dramatic, stubborn kid from ten years ago. I'm that same kid, just older now. I thought about it; if I'm ever going to progress in life, I need to make some vital and crucial decisions instead of just blowing them off and trying to avoid it. I guess I just have to see what happens from here.
From organizing pictures on your computer or perfecting the tags in your music library to filing bills and receipts or making diaries or scrapbooking. I could see why old people do things such as scrapbooking and everything for fun. It kills time and it keeps you really occupied. I've always have that kind of joy when I'd archive my past texts on my cellie or making my iTunes library more precise and accurate when it comes to tagging. Not only that, it seems to make our lives more organized. I could only imagine if everything is fully organized. Life would start to become boring when you have free time.
I want to make a true attempt finally. Not a half assed try, but a full well thought out attempt. BUT, from the looks of it, I'm probably too late, a half a year too late to be more specific. However, I still feel that you're the only one that could turn everything around for me. I don't want to make a direct message this time because if you know who you are, then this will be a direct message regardless. Holding in everything and just patiently waiting is probably the hardest thing I've ever done. Knowing that 'I'll always have a chance', it makes me wonder how true that statement really is. If that is true, it would be great to get one of those chances again; however, from looking at everything, I doubt that that was ever true to begin with. Pessimistic, I know, but I can't help but think that way. When something good's happen to me, even if it's nothing big, something much much worse and hurtful, just has to happen as well. Sometimes I just wish I have never known any of what I already known. Ignorance is bliss right ?? Unless something great happens to me soon, I can't help but regret every single stupid decision I did that put myself in this very lonely position. I just honestly am dying to know, but then again I don't. It's like a heartbreak waiting to happen knowing that because I played my cards wrong, there's no turning back and changing what is only history now. This isn't a direct message, but I'm hoping you read it. Don't assume that it's you though, cause it could be you, but it could always not be you as well. Like that whole line of pointless messages I sent out not too long ago, this may possibly be as pointless as well. If you're the one, you should know what I'm talking about. This time however, I honestly want to know the "truth" this time. Heartbreak or not, I'm just dying to know now. I'm tired of waiting, I just need to know if it's truly too late to make this one last try. I don't want to think that I'm trying to take advantage considering how December is the month of when a lot of you people are emotionally vulnerable for whatever reason. That's my only wish for this Christmas. Only if your heart isn't taken, which I'm afraid to say that it probably is.
I think I wrote that last blog (what I want most for Christmas) a little too soon. As usual, I felt like I've been having the time of my life and as usual, something seems to be fucking me over. I thought I had the life. Good grades, a job which isn't that bad to be honest, the feeling that I done my part in giving, and plans upon plans throughout the break. My ass is prolly PMS'ing or something. Usually I would just try to hide it by not mentioning it to anyone or just tell a lucky few, but this time, I feel like I just need to let the e-world know before I get a heart attack or something from my frustration at the moment. First of all, fuck friends. I feel like I get disappointed all the time now; whether it is because of drama or whether it is because of bailing out from plans or whether it is just because I know my life will stay at a halt because of them. But I'm hoping I'm just having one of those moments where I'm over thinking these things. These past couple of days, I've been seriously thinking about just returning the gifts I got for my friends because I don't think it's worth giving to them especially if they're not going to appreciate the thought and the time I took to thinking of what to get everyone. Around the first week of December was the time when I began planning and buying Christmas present for my friends. And even to think I spent as much as I did for those present, knowing that I knew that I would prolly not receive as much back, it's just frustrating considering how I'm feeling right now. Second of all …. 'Tis the season to be jolly right ?? Well even to think that maybe my Christmas wishes would come true or to think that this would be a Winter break to remember. Yahh, this is a winter break to remember. It's only been one week into my break and I already want to leave the Springs and just stay away from there. I have no future here. All that's here are dreams that'll never come true; it's like a reaching for a star, knowing that though I keep trying to reach, the star will always be impossible to reach. It's like I'm just looking forward to being disappointed. It's frustrating and I feel like my friends have something to do with it. I need to stop thinking that though. Like I said earlier, I'm hoping that this is just one of my episodes and that all this will go away. But for some reason, I feel like this feeling is going to last for a while unless something great happens to me. I'm not even looking forward to Christmas anymore; I'm not looking forward to giving these presents out to everyone; all I'm looking forward to is to leaving these damned place for a week to finish my winter break. I haven't felt this bad since the beginning of this summer, shortly after my high school graduation. I don't know what I need right now: maybe it's a hug, maybe it's a talk …. I honestly don't know anymore.
